Me and iPaneer :For all the food freaks

Hey folks.On the verge of completion of my 3 years of Engineering ,my stay in this city "Durgapur" is also turning 3.I am a complete foodie and being a veggie by birth I have a soft corner for Paneer :).From Birgunj to kathmandu,Delhi to Darjeeling,Kota to kolkata and atlast to Durgapur I have gulped them everywhere.Last night I saw a dream .The dream goes like I met a paneer representative called himself as "iPaneer" (A fat man in his 40s with a big cubical tummy and football shaped mouth gave expressions like Paneer pasanda.)I had a short but sweet conversation with him .As he wanted feeback about successors located around the world and treating the bellies around the globe.I wanna present you an excerpt from the talk.
iPaneer: Hello nikhil ,How are you?

Me: Hey.Who are you? who seem to be very funny!!How do you know me?

iPaneer: I am iPaneer.Noways,It's the way I am.I am seen your name in ATM reciepts when you pay at Restaurants and on feedback forms.

Me: Ohkie.Why are you named iPaneer?What do you want from me?
iPaneer: Actually my name was Paneer but due to sudden advancements among you guys like phone changing to iphone,similarly i20,ipad,K800i etc.I thought of adding an i infront of my name.isnt it sexy? I am available from Russia to Malasia,Australia to India and almost everywhere.Just wanted to take a feedback from you,if you don't mind.

Me: Why me?You can go to frequent travellers,chefs etc.

iPaneer:No, either they are busy or have just tasted only one kind of paneer.I want a versatile consumer who have tasted both Hall-9 paneer and Grand Hyatt's Paneer.Can we proceed?

Me: Sure.

iPaneer:Let's begin .How is paneer associated with your life?

Me:Actually it is insaperable.Being a veggie ,we are confined to malais,mix veggies and paneers after we go out to eat.Life is so miserable.I wish cook invent more and more recipes of paneer.Remembering from the days of buying 250gm of paneer (asked by mom) ,ordering at hotels to eating So called Paneer at Hostel we have a great association.

iPaneer:Which have been the best place you have consumed paneer so far and the test reminds you now?

Me:Last Durgapuja I had paneer chilli at Junction5,Birgunj.It was simply awesome.Soft as valvet and really yummy.

iPaneer:Give a oneliner on paneer of different places.

Me:Birgunj introduced me to this stuff called paneer,Kathmandu assured me "Hello Indian food is awesome here" ,Delhi and kota reminds me of Dhaba typo paneer masala ,do pyaza..umm... Durgapur Hostels "We prepare paneer items but donno how to prepare :)" and restaurants speak "let's rock in all the flavours".

iPaneer:Why did you mention durgapur hostel so explicitly?What is so special about them?

Me:The paneer items which we have it here ,are not worth to be called as paneer items.Hard paneers,in their half cooked state and pathetic.I fall in the sea of my riverie that this is the paneer I liked so much..

iPaneer:I will give you 30 sec .Name as much as paneer items you can.

Me: paneer butter masala,paneer do pyaza,pasanda,sahi paneer,paneer sikh masala,paneer bhujji,paneer tikka,panner mix veg,paneer dosa,matar paneer,paneer sandwitch.Paneer pakoda,paneer kofta.ab baas...YUMMY :P...

iPaneer:Can you suggest some slogans,promotional schemes,marketing ideas to go Global?

Me: Sponsor T20 it will be a biggest hit.You can ask Sachin Tendulkar to promote Paneer Sandwitch if he wishes.then sky is the limit?
Next you can do is you can provide paneer coupons and sign boards specifying "Paneers are sold here". I think it will work.

iPaneer:Any suggestions?

Me: Please broaden your scope of recipes,we have very few items to choose from.Next is growing paneer prices are restricting the consumption to upper class of society only.There should be proper training sessions for Chefs,NITDGP cooks and homemakers.Free paneers on sundays :)

iPaneer: It was nice meeting you.

Me: Same here .See you soon.

And then the alarm clock rings.....and it was already 8. 1st class...RUSH!!